Family Man

Family Man is a song about being a family man. The song is in episode 5 of Season 2 of Rhett and Link's YouTube Red series, Buddy System.

Lyrics
I'm tied down, I'm locked up

I don't make independent decisions

But my wife says that I don't miss it

My old friends, they don't call

In fact this weekend they're riding Ski-Doos

While I'm taking my kids to three zoos

Well the third zoo isn't exactly a zoo

It's a family counselor dressed like a raccoon

I'm a family man

Living according to a family plan

I just found somebody's feces on my hand

I'll grab a towel that's monogrammed

'Cause I'm a family man

I don't have a dream job

I bust my butt everyday from nine to five

To finance the dreams of my kids and wife

And my wife has a business idea

She wants to sell these teeny-tiny hats

Made especially for little baby cats

Notice that I didn't say kitten

My wife says that a baby cat is something different

I'm a family man

And we all don't fit in a sedan

My last child, that spawn of Satan, was unplanned

Please cut my vas deferens

I'm a family man

I'm a family man