Our Romantic Exploits

Rhett and Link talk about how they won over their wives on Valentine's Day.

Plot
Following a quick clip of Link sitting a giant chair from Kakookoos, Rhett and Link remind everyone it is Valentine's Day. Link especially stresses that if you forgot what today is and you have a significant other, you're probably in trouble right now. But Rhett says that they're going to try and help you out today. If you're in the New York area, specifically, Rhett says you still have an opportunity to do something for Valentine's Day: you take your date to a sewage plant. Rhett continues, it may not smell like a rose but a New York City sewage plant on a big tall wide evil hill is offering tours for lovers on Valentine's Day. There may be some understandable irony in there somewhere but Rhett, confused, claims this is a real news story. Jim Penn says the highlight of the tour will be the plant's giant egg-shaped digestors which bring down the nauseous waste into harmless sludge and gas, Rhett quotes, and every Valentine's Day visitor will recieve a Hershey Kiss.

After that little announcement, Link begins to remember some of his more romantic escapades he had with his wife. Back in Link's junior year of college, Link and his wife had been dating about a year. Things were getting a little more serious. Valentine's Day is approaching. Link's gotta take things up a notch. Now, Christy went to Merideth College, an all-girls school basically across the street from North Carolina State University (Rhett and Link's college). Like an egg or some egg-shaped sewage digestor, Link soon hatched this romantic plan.

Let's preface it again, Link and Christy had like their song. You know like, "our song is on. Let's stop what we're doing and dance!" That kind of thing. Women love that kind of stuff. But, being the big Lionel Ritchie fans, apparent by the portrait in the Good Mythical Morning set, their song was "Stuck On You".

Anyway, back to the plan, this plan involved breaking in to Merideth College after hours. Night before Valentine's Day, around 3:00 in the morning, all Link needed to do was get into Christy's car in the parking lot. Suffice to say, like many boys during the day, Link found a way to get on campus. Next thing he did, Link snuck around the parking lot and soon found her Honda Accord. Here's what he did. Link had five hundred Post-It notes and, dedicatedly, cut them all into the shape of a heart. It was a little hard having to cut only thirteen at a time, but he did it and meticulously stuck the hearts all over the car. By the time he was done, Post-It notes covered every square inch of his soon-to-be wife's car. And this one right on the door of her car said "I'm stuck on you."

He regrets not putting a camera on the car or something to document it but he just let Christy call her the next morning. When Link got the call the next morning, Christy was delighted as ever. Link, being the gentleman he is, yes, cleaned it up. But overall it was very romantic and a Valentine's Day success. Rhett thinks its nice but you haven't been that romantic in ten year is what it comes down to.

Rhett now tells his Valentine's story, back when his wife Jessie was eighteen and we hadn't even started dating actually. So there was a Valentine's Day banquet in Fuquay-Varina. Nothing unusual about that. Now, Rhett's like not really wanting to date anyone, he had just broken up with someone prior to all this. He was like gonna take a year off of from dating. But then he met Jessie so soon after. He really liked her, really wanted to date her. But she's eighteen and I'm twenty-one. I cannot get a date with a girl that's in high school. Of course, Link was giving him advice to just go for love and ask her on a date. Actually, Link said the complete opposite but that's not important.

So again, there's the Valentine's Day banquet and it was one of those things where it was sponsored by our church where parents went and Rhett's parents went. So this atmosphere was like just families hanging out it'd be just the kind of thing to just kind of hang out with her, get to know her but it wouldn't be a date. Anyway, so Rhett ends up calling her house the day before the Valentine's Day banquet at like 11:30, which is really late to call someone's house especially when they still live at home. Jessie's mom soon answered the phone and Rhett's like "Hey, this is Rhett. Can I speak to Jessie?" It was just awkward. When Jessie gets on the phone he pops the question and he knows he's being a jerk, inconveniencing her and everything. It turns out she was a little mad with Rhett, she thought he was going to ask a week before the banquet and not twenty-four hours in advance. And also when they did go to the banquet, Rhett was doing this thing, acting like he wasn't dating her. He wouldn't open doors for her, and acting like he didn't like her, and being "too cool" and such. He was a jerk, he describes himself. She had a horrible experience.

Fast forward one year, next Valentine's Day. Now they're dating, she's in college, Rhett feels like it's okay for them to date, they're in a good relationship. And when Valentine's Day came along, Rhett was like, "I wanna make up for how I flubbed last Valentine's Day at the banquet." He didn't say that to her, but to himself, because was concocting his plan. Rhett's mother-in-law (Jessie's mother) set this up, Rhett and Jessie went back to the same facility where they had the Valentine's Day banquet, got his mom and mother-in-law to make the exact same menu they had at the banquet. He got them to prepare it and serve it to us and they sat in the same place and they were the only people there except for their mothers. And they danced, even to a little Lionel Ritchie. They essentially recreated it but with Rhett in better spirits. And it was possibly the best thing he's ever done for Valentine's Day. Link says that's good. You don't have to worry, you can probably ride that memory for a few years.

The show starts its end after Rhett tells the viewers that they're not putting pressure and a lot of you are single, so... no worries. Link finally rolls the Wheel of Mythicality, where it lands on "Motivational Speech".