My Hair Goes...

My Hair Goes..., also known as the My Hair Song, is a song about how Rhett's hair goes up and Link's hair goes down.

Lyrics
My hair goes up.

My hair goes down.

My hair goes up.

My hair goes down.

My hair goes up.

My hair goes down.

Down. (Up.) Down. (Up.) Down. (Up.) Down. (Up.)

My hair flows,

Like a waterfall, over a cliff that is my face.

My hair goes,

Heavenbound, dirty blonde rockets into space.

My hair conceals my elf ears,

They are a little bit embarrassing.

With hair is high,

I'm 6 foot nine making me a giant, technically speaking.

Well, I can shake my hair and generate enough breeze,

To locomote a toy sailboat.

I would need no broom to sweep this room,

If someone spilled Honey Bunches of Oats.

My hair goes up.

My hair goes down.

My hair goes up.

My hair goes down.

My hair goes up.

My hair goes down.

Down. (Up.) Down. (Up.) Down. (Up.) Down. (Up.)

My hair pawns, gravity.

It makes Sir Isaac Newton question himself.

My hair looks, rustic.

Like I've draped my head with a beaver pelt.

A momma bird lay some eggs up there,

I didn't mind that much.

She raised them in my quaff 'til them birdies flew off,

And we still keep in touch.

I bet you didn't see my switchblade,

Or my iPad, or my chai tea.

And with a little more growth, you won't even know,

I got a full-sized baby.

A full-sized baby?

Yeh! I'm gonna name him Ricky.

After your dad.

Nope! I just always wanted to name a kid Ricky.

I would call him Richard, but I'm probably being picky

And why, are you hiding a kid anyway?!

Well it's actually just a robotic baby

What were we talking about?

Your hair goes up.

Your hair goes down.

Your hair goes up.

Your hair goes down.

We interrupt the chorus of this song to bring you an important message:

There are many weighty decisions you must make in life.

Like: Who are you're gonna marry?

What you gonna do for a living?

Boxers or briefs?

Or commando?

And, listen, you're gonna make mistakes.

You might invest your life savings in dehydrated water,

You might forget whether prohibited means you can do it or you can't do it.

You might ask a non-pregnant woman if she's pregnant.

That's ok; you'll recover

But just make sure you get this one, most important, course-of-your-life-altering choice, right.

Can I have my baby back now?

Yeah.

Does your hair go up?

Or does it go down? (Up?) Down? (Up?) Down? (Up?) Down? (Up?)

Credits

 * Written, Performed, Directed, & Edited by Rhett & Link


 * PA and Bird Handler: Jason Inman


 * PA: Nick Bishop


 * iPad Catcher: Levi Kitchens


 * Kids with boat: Lily and Lincoln Neal, Locke and Shepherd McLaughlin


 * Robotic Full-size Baby: Lucius Kitchens


 * Baby-daddy: Joseph Barkley


 * Stock footage provided by NASA, footagegratis.com, islamicemirate.com