Quotes

Rhett and Link are two hilarious and somewhat awkward dads. They have a YouTube Channel, Good Mythical Morning. As such, they deliver to us a great deal of memorable quotes on the mythical silver platter we like to call YouTube.

Rhett James McLaughlin
-"...and he stoped right in front of me and his dads just like Dashal don't start and then Dashals like hhhcsdteufvgwhxiyjzkakblnmqoprhhh!" -season 8

-"this is like me and you in a - in a raft on the Atlantic, just stranded...and we have these hookers...and that' it"

-"A hall is just a shaft sideways" (yes it's an innuendo)

-"Sticking to the cinematic theme and a movie that has been giving me hot flashes ever since I saw it this summer, I've got my littlest son, Hunter-Donavan. Come on out! He's 'Magic Mike XXL", y'all!"

-"I have been repeatedly spooned by this man!" (on Link)

-"I thought you popped your finger. I thought we just learned your hands are balloons."

-"What I discovered is that I bleed...and then I heal."

-:You can do it Serpent King!"

-"Fish like granola."

-"I like the fact that it's smaller and dustier and more like drugs. Don't you?"

-"Don't touch the nacho, that's nacho nacho!" 

-"I grew up with a father in the home."

-"At age three, I was painting the walls of my bedroom with my own poop." 

-"SIRI...Where is the nearest taco?" 

-"Wood you?"

-"I'm gonna tell you about poop! Feces! Crap! Fill-in-the-blank!"

-"She dated Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley. I've heard of both of those guys and dating both of them is a pretty big deal - I would date both of them!"

-"He had a dream vomit!"

-"Maybe I look like a dangerous person when my hair is going sideways?"

-“Every once-in-a-while we come up with an idea for a video that is ambitious…an then we get into the thick of it, and a couple of days later I just see myself standing there with eye shadow and a tutu and I think…it was all worth it…!”

-"I'VE BEEN SHREKED!"

-"I am a modest princess." 

-"YOU KNOW WHAT DAD, I AM A STRONG, INDEPENDENT WOMAN!"

-"Just grab life by the bal- by the abdominal area!"

-"Hey where's the nearest flying bench?"

-"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

-"We’ve got a tumblr and we retumble things that you tumble because we’re really into tumblr…"

-"Body beards! Made of the hair of donated beards!"

-"Oh! He was on the Wright flyer at the wrong time." 

-"Who's ready to pupate?!"

-"Bikers wanna do more than kiss."

-"That is literally the funniest thing you’ve ever said. You just peaked with that Molly Heidi arm joke. And I was here for it!"

-"I'll leave you with a quote from Master Splinter."

-"Ninjas don't need fame and fortune for what they do. They do it for honor, and integrity. While pirates are out on ships with a bunch of dudes for months on end, eating fish guts and getting scurvy while talking to parrots and having naughty thoughts about manatees, ninjas are busy assassinating people without ever being seen.

-"That path, is without a doubt, the path of a, WHISKASHISU, WATAW, WSHUI, WUUSHU, WHAH, ninja. THEEW, THEEW, THHEW, THHEW! (Sound effects, accompanied by wild hand movements)

-"we will continue somewhere where we will be a problem"

-"Now I'm gonna move on and make a pea-wiener, I mean a- I'm gonna make a hotdog out of peas."

-"Take a dumpling on us!"

-"The Hookr, the new competitor to the Dipr."

-"This is like me and you, stranded, on a raft, in the middle of the Pacific ocean, and we have these Hookrs, and that's it. (Awkward laughter)"

-"Lets play- Which Marvelous Mouth Mentioned These Memorable Memos!"

-"Hello there, are you the architect I ordered?"

-"What the crap is wrong with you...?" B.B.

-"Good Mythical Morning!"

"[Your dogs are] cuter but stupider. You know, like you."

-"Link, I've been doing some thinking and you know what happens when I start doing thinking." -Rhett "Your head gets hot and you start complaining." -Link

Charles Lincoln "Link" Neal
-"Hey...Hey Girl... Girl... Hey ...Hey Girl...I like your boots."

-"Laughter is like farting...out of your mouth."

-"The only rule for sharing ice cream needs to be that: If you're not willing to make out with this person, then you shouldn't share ice cream with them."

-"I sleep with reckless abandon!"

-"We ate food out of a toilet...and payed for it."

-"Just call me Sugar Daddy. Or Sugarless Daddy."

-"It's one thing to squeeze the melons, It's a another to place the bananas."

-"What does it say about me that my mind drifted to, 'What if I accidentally poked myself in the eye with this?' And then I immediately thought, 'Well at least It's gonna be on the Internet.'

-"Soft tacos are wannabe burritos"

-"If eyes are the windows to the soul, then the face is the front of the house, and facial expressions are the paint on the house that constantly changes color to show you what the house is feeling."

-"The words that come out of my face sometimes have nothing to do with anything that's happening in my brain"

-"We just dough-minated!"

-"I'm gonna be a rapper! I'm gonna call myself Ritz Cracker."

-"Her lips look like apples, her eyes look like apples and her b-..."

-"It's made from the muffin tops of men." (on soap)

-"I call it hair topping. It's not a wig. Wigs are for sad people"

-"I had a cat named patches for a couple of days till it had worms coming out of its anus"

-"My cheeks are sweating...all four of them."

-"The fastest way to a woman's heart is through a worm's anus."

-"The black eggs on top were just exquisite..." (caviar)

-"Dare me to eat the anus?"

-"Tokyo..."

-"You're darn right I said that! I was wearing a bandana and sunglasses!"

-"I could at any point share something inappropriate. That’s part of who I am. And I embrace it and then constantly battle with it."

-"I'm gonna bite chew, chew, chew, swallow..."

-"It's like my kids' feet after they've been playing at the playground!" (on a soda)

-"Embrace the taste" (of life)

-"Sure would be nice when they make this road four lanes..."

"Mythical Beasts, a question is an ant, crawling along the sidewalk, searching for answers, but, they don't find answers there on the ground, no, they don't, because those answers can only be brought to life by the actual searing fiery photons of the sun. So we take our giant magnifying glass, and we shine that sunlight onto your question ant, then we focus the light until it burns through your question exoskeleton down to your answer heart. That's right Mythical Beasts. You had the answer all along."

-"when in doubt, whip chocolate out."

-"Igotapickleinthemiddleofmyburgerthat'scoveredinchocolate!"

-"Question: how do you eat a fart?"

-"When in doubt, choose humping"

-"ok, ho me, ho"

-"I'm flat out of sperm!"

-"Opinions are like buttholes: everybody's got one, and it usually stinks"

-"But, coming from Snoop Dogg, it sounds more like something James Brown would say- Soul Force..."

-"...Unlike anything you've ever put on your lips, unlike anything you have ever experienced on your lips... I never thought that that combination of peanut butter and peppermint would, would, have rocked the internet."

-"They just pluck its booty"

-"Looks like I just removed a hernia from Shrek."

-"They call these moist for a reason-because there's moisture in there."

-"I'm not just a peanut butter lover, I'm an all butter lover."

-"Why is the anus piece so dark?"

-"Everybody wins a goat. It's like Oprah is here, Except it's goats."

-"Cheese Pizza is for kids and sad people."

-"Are they building a launching pad for a rocket? Or are they about to cook a turkey?"

-"Do you wake up with melted booty dents?"

-"Guys, honey come from a bee not a tree."

-"The squid-ink dough has to rest for 48 hours before you touch it, which I find #relatable."

-"Rhett, I am pleased to present to you, 'Spaghett-doh and Meatballs', with a side of... toast."

-"Link, I've been doing some thinking and you know what happens when I start doing thinking." -Rhett "Your head gets hot and you start complaining" -Link

-"You do poop gold, right?"

-"And why yams?"

-"I feel like I've been a bad Catholic boy."

-"Which one of us has googled Lesbian fashion?"

-"Which is worse, slapping your mama or shooting a puppy. Something's wrong with the puppy, by the way."

-"It's vanilla, you say?" Josh: "What?"

-"...and it's got a plasticyness and i don't think that's the head i'm drinking it out of." -GMM S14 E71

-"Sugar time, sugar time with your meat stick."