How to Talk to Girls

Link gives his Golden Advice about the "Miss Perfect" in your life.

Plot
Sponsor Kotula's, the guys with the goods, preps the audience for a fun episode featuring Link and his Golden Advice for Single Guys. MaxMohrmann kicks it off a set of questions and asks "how should you approach girls?", AppleOfInternalHappy asks "how do you start a conversation with a girl?', and MrStrawberryfields4 asks "how do I work up the gumption to speak to a girl whose name is still a mystery to me?"

Link begins by announcing he used to be just like us, single and afraid to talk to the ladies. He says, even when he had a girlfriend in middle school and was not single he was still afraid to talk to his girlfriend. He felt that obligation to have that kind of boyfriend/girlfriend talk going. But he then adds, a girlfriend in middle school was already ridiculous in itself. But, anyway, he says he felt this pressure to call her on the phone, with both girlfriends: Leslie and Amber, his first two girlfriends which, incidentally, were Rhett's first two girlfriends. Now Link was so nervous he had to write down what he was gonna say on the phone when he called her, an idea Rhett also used that failed miserably. Following this little confession, Link gives advice on how to approach a girl: remember Miss Perfect.

Miss Perfect, Link says, was a girl who was hard to miss at their alma mater North Carolina State University. Rhett noticed her, Link noticed her, their third and seldom talked-about roomate Greg noticed her. She was very pretty. She wore these boots and these skirts and tops and it was all notable even from across campus. And the three always talked about, but never to her. They called her Miss Perfect. Rhett says they even had a little schedule where, like they would arrive to lunch at approxamitely a certain time that Miss Perfect would eat lunch at too. And oddly enough, whenever they went to lunch, they always talked about Miss Perfect. Link identifies this with the audience's situation where, instead of just looking at or talking about your Miss Perfect, go up and talk to her.

Rhett also adds that this is not just for guys its also for girls who should need to know what guys are thinking.

Now back to Miss Perfect, she was always with a guy who they percieved as her boyfriend. And Greg said he had a weight lifting class with the guy. He was real muscular and had this tattoo that read "Cash" and had a dollar bill on it, which is ridiculous, said Link. "At least she could talk to me" was what they were all thinking. Now then they found out the guy's actual name was Cash which they questioned, did that make the tattoo worse or better? Cool or not this guy obviously had the courage to talk to her so, you could be Cash, Link said.

Fast forward: just a year ago, we went home. This is years after college. Link gets a text from Rhett that says "Turn on Wipeout." And now he's seen the show many times and the hostess down in the field cracking jokes, she's pretty. Then it clicked... Miss Perfect. Then I remembered all of the times I saw her and never had the least amount of courage to go talk to her. Miss Perfect is Jill Wagner, host of Wipeout. Now, though, they replaced her but only because she wants to focus on her acting career, she wasn't fired. Point is: remember your Miss Perfect. Years from now, she could be the host of a nationally sydicated game show on ABC and you'd be saying "I could've dated her", "I could've been her boyfriend", "I could've talked to her". It's better to have a story like "I know her, she rejected me" than "I know her, I saw her around on campus and talked about her alot". How lame is that, said Link, even the worse case scenario is better.

Now moving on to practical advice on what to say to a girl. Link says, compliment her on something unrelated to her physical appearance. Link says to compliment her on something like a patch on her backpack, like "I like your patch, did you make that?" Rhett, on the other hand, says to go "I like your boots" in that smooth radio station voice. It always worked for him, he said. Link completely disagrees and says it shouldn't be related to her fashion either. Rhett says a patch works but, who has a patch these days? Link says its very trendy to put patches on your backpack. As a follow-up, after the compliment, though, say "I just made something up to talk to you". Now you're being honest.

The two following the advice tell how they met their wives. Rhett used his radio voice to say "Hey, how's it goin'?" Link met his wife at a rollerskating social in college where he said to her "Know to rollerskate?" and then as a follow-up "Let me teach you".

To end the show instead of a spin on the Wheel of Mythicality, Rhett and Link briefly educate you on the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and its complete wrongness and why Good Mythical Morning will be on blackout for the next episode