Tough Decisions

Tough Decisions is a song about how every choice is ultimately about whales, ending up dead. The song is a part of the sixth episode of Rhett and Link's YouTube Red series, Buddy System, called Soul Searchin'. It can also be found on their Youtube Channel, Rhett and Link, as A Whale Is Gonna Die.

Lyrics
Paper

Or plastic

Presents itself as a decision with an obvious answer

You pick paper 'cause the plastic will end up in the ocean

Giving a whale cancer

But did you know that

The paper in this bag is made from the prickly peckerwood tree

Which happens to be

The residency of the dwarf winged beaver bee

And when the dwarf winged beaver bees no longer have

Homes in which to go, then I think you should know

That they've been known to reconstruct their hives

Right inside of those same whale's blowholes

So you

Can weigh

All these factors before you choose to decide

But either way

Know this

A whale is gonna die

No matter what you choose

A whale is gonna die

No matter what you do

A whale is gonna die

Dine in

Or take out

An inconsequential question at the fast food restaurant

So you take it to go

Then on the way home, you know you start to smelling those

French fries, so you reach in the bag

And take your eyes off the road

And drive straight off a bridge

And who knows what's in the water below

So you should've dined in

But if you dined in

You decide to shake salt on those fries

With the shaker that the previous guy

Coughed on

And then you rub your eyes

Oh no

The next morning you wake up with a wicked face

Itch you drive to urgent care

With your eyes swelled shut then you

Drive off the very same bridge from when you didn't dine in

And did I mention

Both times you hit

A whale

A whale is gonna die

No matter what you choose

A whale is gonna die

No matter what you do

A whale is gonna die

It's gonna be okay

Except in the case you're a whale

A whale is gonna die